Demos

by Ian Miles

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    An collection of demos I recorded between 2002 - 2008

     

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05:16

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An collection of demos i recorded between 2002 - 2008

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released July 7, 2010

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Ian Miles Southampton, UK

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Track Name: Spoon fed
Theres a spoon and its feeding me every thought that i think and soon i'll be over filled and throw up every word.
I don't think i will make it through tomorrow because i doubt that i will make it through today.
Cause i'm dressed in black and heading to that funeral, to say good bye to a sailor old and grey.
I never got to say goodbye in my own way.
When i heard about the end i went cried for what seemed like days and i sunk into the toilet, that sunk into my thighs.

Theres a place, that you remind me of, a haven built for us.
You are still sat there now, with your toes buried deep in the sand.
Your merc is parked outside the family caravan.
Your pride and joy that never lets you down.
I wish you never got that fucking illness.
I wish you stuck around for christmas day.
And i never got to say Goodbye in my own way.
But a journey has to end despite our differences. I'll cherish you my friend, today is not your end.
Track Name: A poem about broken minds
We'll run away to the forest where noone will find us, our feet will be bloody and torn, try not to make a trail because i don't wanna get caught.
We've been running for days now and nothing has changed now. If they catch up with us we'll be ruined and back to being alone.

They'll always get in the way and slip right in-between us. A moral thats crippled and torn. Lets write a brand new story where we're not the victims anymore.
We'll start with a fresh page and be half done in 2 days. By the end of the week we'll be Dancing and singing a brand new love song.
Track Name: Silly thoughts of the future
I'd like to say i'm here to stay but i will have to go away caus i can't stay in just one place for longer than a week but you will see how sick you get with me with all my insecurities that get the best of me.
I want some time to talk just give me 5 i'll do my best i know that i am not an attractive guy but i want you in my life to laugh to dance to sing for all the good that life will bring, we'll push aside the shit and nuzzle in the dream.

Ill try my best to keep a smile on your face, when your feeling down.
If i can't do this, we'll both be sad and we'll boil in the troth together.

The thing with me is that i dream and runaway to catch the slightest thing that makes me feel alive and to have you by my side would be the perfect crime and you would be the perfect partner in this mess and we could figure out this life once puzzle piece at a time
and you have my word, that we can talk every night till the sunlight burns our eyes.
And if you don't want that we can just curl up in our warmth together.
Track Name: The call
Just give me a second so i can catch my breath and put it back in my lungs caus i'm trying to not get caught while crying down the telephone. So i put my phone back in my drawr and i try to breath a little more but there a weight inside my stomach pulling me through the floor.

I'm sorry i hang up on you but i can't talk right now
You said you done something stupid and i already knew somehow
All the times that i trusted you with sleeping round his house
This will never be the same
This will never be the same again.

I know that things were rough and you drank alot of alchohol
but I'm trying to not get mad cause thats the biggest scapegoat of them all
and if i drank i'm pretty sure i'd be dead by now, but i got brains inside my head, and i learnt from past mistakes.

I remember i got jealous when you stayed around his place
when i told you i could see the boiling anger in your face,
You said that you been friends for years how dare i feel that way
But i guess that i was righttt i guess that i was rightttt
Track Name: Walking disease
I am an std,
Im an oap,
i am everything you wouldn't want from me.
My heads to big,
I got a dodgy knee.
I am a walking disease.

I got a shitty voice,
I can't sleep at night
I'm under weight
and my eyes are mega sensitive to light.
I think i have taken on my mums frame of mind
Better known as hypochondria.

I got stinky breathe
Its always been that way
I can't find a thing to makes it go away.

I can't grow a beard
But what should i expect?
Im still scared to talk to or even approach the opposite sex.
I think i am better off just to curl up and die.
By myself, all alone.

I think i've found a better way, for me to pass away the days.
and stop feeling sorry for myself
All it takes is a wooden neck, 6 strings some paper and a pen.
it leaves me feeling good as new.

and that is more than i can say for you.
Track Name: Losing Touch (Acoustic)
It's getting old,
References i no longer understand.
So this is what it feels like to loose touch,
With everyone you felt so close to, through the best and worse.

I know its not your fault, and i know its not mine.
It seems a sad fact of life to slowly drift apart.

They say the old days are always better.
Now the penny's finally dropped.
Regrets were never for me.
So i try to look ahead, but right now my memories are the death of me.
I won't let them go.
So here i am, just stuck here, with no idea of what to do.
If its a fact of life, then fuck this, i see no reason to move on.
Track Name: The sun song.
Some times i wish i had two pairs of legs so when one gets tired,
I can pop them out and the others in their place, then i could walk forever.
Cold, wet, sleet, snow and all the other weathers won't get in my way.
'cause i am out today on a mission, to clear my head.

*And down down down i hit the ground
Bleeding from my nose,
All i saw when i hit the ground was warm blood melting snow.

Sometimes i wish i never liked your face but i did because its fucking perfect
Im the only person in this room who knows about the times we spent together
ramen, car drives and talking till my throat hurts, just to name a few.
Even though i was only there to help a friend out, i guess i fell for you.

*

Sometimes i think about the night it sparked, when he was giving you hassle.
I took comfort in the fact you were in my arms, and you took comfort in my padded jacket.
Tracking the veins in my arm with your finger, while i played with your hair .
Face to face our lips were nearly touching, tension in the air.

*

You might not feel it but i, i felt it then, i feel it now, and i feel it every-time I'm near you, you glow in my eyes.
I try not to stare because I'm fully aware you're with another guy.
You're with another guy.

Every time i go out i am left alone at the end of the night.
My mates, they split up into couples and hold each other tight.
I trace my foot steps to my car and i climb in through the door.

Put on some music and i scream, scream, scream a little more.
I drive 5 miles back to Romsey where i sleep in a shed
A standard night, the standard fight with myself wishing i was dead.

Wishing i was dead.
Track Name: Chinese Laterns and Geographical Confusion
I am drowning in the memory of what it was and what it could have been.
But still i am waiting for you to make up your mind.
I gave up on you last time, you had a boy and i had my own life. I left it for while to get me back on track.
Now a few months later your life with him has come to an end, sat here selfishly waiting, into a smile my frown did bend.
I thought i had a good chance, i heard you're moving to my town.
The perfect time for hang outs, i've missed having you around.

Now i know that you might already know this but i just want you to know, that i never quite got over you. now you know I'm waiting till were 30 and we'll start to build that house and the family we talked about.
I know its far away but its the only thought that keeps me on my feet.
But still, thats 8 more years of loneliness and rock bottom self esteem.

Now you moving to southampton, but I'm away touring with the band.
Our timing here is tragic but i'll be back next week.
So i popped into a Sainsburys to buy a phone so i could message you. It cost me 20 quid 10 on the phone and 10 on you.
Now a few texts later your time with me has come to an end, i found out you are seeing someone else again.
It didn't take that long for you to move on i guess i wasn't next in line.

And i know that you might already know this but i just want you to know, that i never quite got over you. now you know i'm waiting till were 30 and we'll start to build that house and that family we talked about.
I know its far away but its the only thought that keeps me on my feet.
But still, thats 8 more years of loniless and rock bottom self esteem.
and i'm stilll waiting, waiting for my chance with you,
And when i'm home we'll hang out and i will just pretend, that i'm ok with being just your friend.
We'll sit and talk a while and you'll ask me how i feel, i'll lie to you and tell you i'm ok.
But im not ok.
Track Name: Memories
I promise this will be the last song i'll write about you.
But i can't help but think every night, laying in my bed about you.
Sitting in your front room. Watching the O.C., Eating chocolate strawberries.
Digging through your freezer for some eats.
We just ended up, eating pasta again, again, again.

But if i saw you now i don't think i would recognize your face.
You are locked away in pictures that don't allow the changes,
stored away in boxes you come out now and then so i can feast, feast my empty heart on the memories.

Now I don't know where I'm at,
don't know where I'm going to,
don't know who I am.
But I am going out tonight.
Going out with all my friends, gunna have some fun.

Because its the only place where i can forget about the shit.
The shit that weighs me down the the anchor of a ship.
The shit that keeps me up till the sunlight burns my eyes,
reminds me I'm alive and leaves me to face another day.

I can't forget your house.
The freezing wooden floor boards,
the broken tv noise

I can't forget the smell.
Vanilla sits perfectly on a floral dress.

If you hear this song and then you want to hunt me down,
come kill me with a knife and put me six feet underground.
I'm not scared of death no it seems more a welcome mat.
You see i've had my share of fun now its time for me to take my bow.